No Partner, No Problem: Switch from Anxious to Empowered
While the new No-Fault Divorce Bill (set to became law on the 6th of April*) might simplify the legal process of a divorce, getting over the separation and accepting single hood can remain a real emotional challenge. So how do you ride the breakup rollercoaster and find peace in single hood? This is where award-winning Hypnotherapist and Life Coach, Malminder Gill, comes in.
“Studies show that when we experience a breakup, our brain activity is no different from when we suffer from physical pain” says Gill, a master of reinvention with 100% client success rate when it comes to overcoming breakups. Her bespoke hypnotherapy techniques are meant to re-programme the brain to reduce the time frame of getting over an ex and manage the anxiety that comes with being back to single life. “Differently from counselling, which operates on a conscious level, hypnosis tackles the issue on a subconscious level. Hypnotherapy helps breaking the negative spiralling thoughts that are usually associated with a breakup, and guides patients into positive self-talk that contributes to making life meaningful and purposeful again”, continues Gill.
“A good way to start the healing process”, according to Gill, “is to understand what happens to our brains when we go through a breakup, and develop healthy habits that help us manage the emotional rollercoaster.”
Mood Swings
Unpredictable mood swings are a normal part of the breakup experience, as romantic partners play a role in regulating our emotions and making us feel secure and comfortable. Often, the disruption of our emotional cycle is reflected in the disruption of circadian rhythms (lack of sleep, hunger or loss of appetite) so we are forced to find a new way to stabilise our emotions to feel well again.
How to manage
“Journaling is a great way of putting things into perspective and observing our emotions from the outside. Writing down how we feel helps us understand emotional patterns and eventually identify what, in this new phase of life, plays the role of the ‘emotion regulation’ - which is no longer played by a partner.”
Withdrawal Symptoms
Relationships flood the body with feel-good chemicals such as dopamine, serotonin and oxytocin: in a way love affects our brain chemistry the same way drugs do, leaving us in a state of need and craving, when a relationship ends.
HOW TO MANAGE
“It’s important to find healthy ways to get an endorphin hit, rather than quick fixes like comfort food, drugs, alcohol or texting an ex. Exercise is one of the most effective ways to do so, as well as social bonding. It can be hard to go out with friends at the beginning, as they might ask you about your relationship (and we might feel ashamed about it), but spending time with people really helps prevent breakup withdrawal symptoms.” Book yourself one of our upcoming self-love and detox retreats to relax, restore and revive your mind and release negative tension and feelings trapped in the body.
Embrace the Future You
Reminders of your ex can be everywhere, from pictures, songs, gifts, and locations. These objects or places are likely to trigger emotions and doubts (‘was breaking up the right thing to do?’) keeping you stuck in the past. How can we force our brain to make new neural connections?
HOW TO MANAGE
“Neural recalibration is the only way our brain can stop being stuck in a negative feedback loop and genuinely move on. At the beginning we need regular reminders of the positives that breaking up with your partner brings you. It might be helpful to create a voice recording that you can replay each morning, as a sort of affirmation mantra, to start the day on the right foot.”