A lot of us consider healthy eating to be solely what you put on your plate. Sure, that counts. Having your greens and protein is an important part of a healthy diet but you should not forget about a fundamental part of healthy eating: a healthy relationship with food.

It’s not all black and white

Part of a complicated relationship with food is linked to the language that we use to describe it and how we tend to put food in categories of “good” and “bad”. Vegetables and nutrient-dense foods will be labelled as “good” while processed foods but also carbs and high-calorie foods as “bad”. It is undeniable that broccoli and quinoa are better for your body compared to candy bars or ice-cream. But it is also fine to eat something which we define as “unhealthy” once in a while. I would actually argue that eating unhealthily sometimes is actually part of a healthy diet. In fact, I am a strong believer that everything, or almost everything can and should be eaten in moderation.

Enjoy food and don’t judge yourself

One thing I have learned over the years is to be grounded yet flexible. Nourishing your body and your mind is key to conducting a healthy lifestyle. While some foods are healthier than others, all food has a value. Pizza is not a health food but if you really enjoy it on the weekends with your best friends or with your family, or if it improves your mood or even makes you feel energised, then enjoy it from time to time and feel good about it!

While the foods that make our mind feel good may be completely different from the ones that make our body feel good, this does not mean that you should constantly judge yourself if there are days when you crave less functional or nutritional food compared to others. Judging yourself all the time can lead to: depression, demotivation, frustration, anger and discouragement. Accept what your mind, body and soul need in that very moment and choose to be happy and not miserable. You deserve to be happy and so does your tummy!

Be present and eat mindfully and intuitively

There are days when you are hungrier than others and you should acknowledge what your body needs. Have an extra serving of fruit, nuts, pasta or whatever your body is asking for. Of course, if your body is asking for a bag of chips or chocolate chip cookies on the regular, you might want to stop and think about what is your mind-body actually asking you. An urgent need of sweets and chocolate could be because of chronic stress, instant satisfaction or dissatisfaction or high blood sugar levels. Stress has been proven to be linked to sweet and fatty food cravings which in turn, can lead to weight gain and development of illnesses. Moreover, according to Robert Lustig (expert in neuroendocrinology and children obesity) when you eat sugar your brain releases chemicals which make you immediately feel good. Likewise, sugar is capable of altering our hormones in such a powerful way which alters our feelings of hunger, leading us to eat more, raising our dopamine requiring more sugar. Thus, one must always bear in mind that sugar when consumed excessively other than being addictive is also toxic.

When you feel this way, allow yourself a little treat such as: 25 g of dark chocolate or a nice smoothie or a delicious açai bowl instead. Once you switch to healthy foods, your body is going to ask for more healthy foods. In the same way, if you only indulge yourself with fast and junk foods, your body will crave them more because of insulin levels rising.

Similarly, there will be some days when you are simply not as hungry as a typical day because of different factors which can vary from: stress, working very hard, hot weather, lack of physical activity or having eaten a little more the night before. This is normal as well and you should listen to what your body is telling you and eat when you will feel hungry again.

The rule to long-term well-being: no rule

I don’t believe in a completely restrictive diet, 100% clean 100% of the time. Imposing strict rules and clearly defining what you can and cannot eat will only lead to stress and negative thoughts. On the other hand, having a 80/20 rule can be a good place to start. For me, this means that I eat very healthy during the week and I relax on the weekend. I tend to mainly enjoy eating healthy foods but I also do have a sweet tooth, and that is okay.

Healthy relationship with food and your body comes from your mind

For a long time, I thought you had to be extremely disciplined to tame your body and make it obey to your mind. Turns out I was doing it all wrong. I understood that my body was the one that had to decide. Once I switched my approach to food and what my goal was (being healthy versus looking a certain way), my life literally changed. The change does not happen overnight, it is a slow process. Treat your body as your temple and think about how food can heal your mind and body making you feel strong and powerful. Love yourself, respect yourself and everything else will just come naturally. Food is fun and amazing and it should not make you uncomfortable or stressed. Start to introduce the concept of mindful and intuitive eating every time that you are about to have your meal. This approach really has beneficial and lasting effects on your relationship with food. In fact, mindful eating is actually an anti-diet approach which allows people to enjoy the foods they are tasting whilst simultaneously feeling relaxed. In this way, you start learning to listen to what your body is asking you: I am hungry, I am full, I need some more protein, I am craving some whole grains, I need some healthy sugar (fruits).

You will see that by changing to this approach, you will basically stop craving unhealthy foods and free yourself from constant feelings of guilt. Numerous studies have found out that guilt is very bad for your wellbeing and your mental stability. Seger Breugelmans (professor in the Department of Social Psychology of Tilburg University of Netherlands) found out that guilt is associated with: low levels of self-esteem, loss of control, high feelings of regret. Moreover, feelings of guilt highly impact your ability to absorb and digest foods properly. It can also cause a lot of bloating because of its link to stress. Stress, makes you breath worse and this negatively affects digestion, brain fog (lack of oxygen) and also puts a lot of pressure on our stomach and abdomen which leads to a lot of gas, irritable bowl syndrome and bloating. Therefore, learn to treat food as a real friend which is going to make you feel better and not as you enemy, which is going to make you feel bad. Practice yoga daily it really helps your mind and body to relax and its an amazing journey which is going to teach you to accept your beautiful self.

Do not look at numbers

While calories certainly are important, they should not be at the centre of attention and you should not be counting them every time your about to eat something. Eat healthy foods, sufficient portions and do not skip any meals. If you focus on your body’s needs, the rest will come very easily and you will feel at your best. I have not used a scale to weigh myself in probably five years now and have never felt so good and confident. Focus on how you feel, what your body allows you to do, how strong it can be and all the amazing things it allows you to do. The key for maintaining a healthy lifestyle is: frequency, portions and quality. This means that if you happen to over eat or exceed your daily calorie intake nothing bad is going to happen. The only harmful thing that could influence your mind, body and soul will be your negative feelings and thoughts for having allowed to your body to have a little more. Stop these voices in your heads and switch them to positive affirmations. Your thoughts are just as loud as your words and trust me, your body hears what you say to it just as it feels how you treat it. So be kind to your body and remind yourself everyday of how amazing you are.

Do what is right for YOU

One thing that can have a negative impact on your relationship with food is comparing yourself to others. But remember, you have different nutritional needs than your friends, family, and co-workers. Their relationship with food has nothing to do with you. Your sister eats way more than you do and is incredibly skinny? Your friend is vegan and doesn’t eat certain things that are part of your diet? Your boyfriend eats smaller quantities than you do and does not like vegetables and fruits? It really does not matter. You do not know what people do when they are not in a social settings and how active their lifestyle is. We are all different, and our bodies require different things according to our physical conditions and mental stability and there is nothing wrong with yourself and your own personal condition. Stop judging your body and starting loving it for everything that it does to you. For being strong and giving you the energy to stand up everyday and for keeping you alive. Before you understand and acknowledge this concept, before you will begin to treat yourself right and your body in turn will free itself from pain and discomfort.

By Maud Gérard (Owner and Creative Director of Instance and healthy addict)